Truth or Dare

So where were we? Oh right, walking down "the path". This all sounds very biblical doesn't it? haha.

So last night I must've been sending myself subliminal messages because my dream kinda picked up where we left off. Well not exactly where we left off but definitely in that direction.

I don't know how I got there but when I opened my eyes I was running through the streets of Boston trying to get to R.M.'s old apartment in JP. I didn't know why but I was dressed up so I assumed it was for something fancy. When I got up the stairs and crashed through the doors I entered a large hallway which led to a ballroom where I heard voices.

When I rounded the corner I knew where I was. It was R.M's wedding. I couldn't see her face. No matter how hard I tried something was always blocking me. But I saw her dress. It was this beautiful light green. I scanned the crowd and saw everyone there. Walsh, Lisa, Samantha..everyone, except Shanny. But that didn't surprise me. As I stood there listening to them say their vows I became lost in a trance. The Snow Patrol song "Chasing Cars" began playing and everything started moving in this weird slow motion montage. It was like I wasn't even there.

I tagged out for a moment and awoke to find my bedroom was shaking...a tiny earthquake. With nothing to worry about I fell back to sleep.

When I returned, I was back in the room but I'd missed quite a bit. The happy couple were having their first kiss as man and wife. The crowd was clapping and that damn Snow Patrol song was still playing!! R.M. decided now was the time for her to throw the bouquet. She threw it and I can't remember who caught it but I remember just standing there while the crowd applauded.

The happy couple started to leave. I followed with them on the other side of the pews. At this point I figured I was just there as an observer. Like in the movies where no one can see you, you're just there to watch.

I made my way to edge of the crowd and watched her kiss and hug everyone goodbye. I couldn't bear to see anymore so I started to cross the street. With "Chasing Cars" still playing in the background I turned around one more time, to get one last look at her. To my surprise she turned around too. We locked eyes. I didn't dare move a muscle for fear that she'd disappear or maybe she'd be mad at me for showing up late, or for showing up at all.

But then, she smiled at me. A smile I hadn't seen in years. And it dawned on me, she was happy and I was genuinely happy for her.

As I watched her disappear into the limo and drive away I was brought back to that fateful night that put this all in motion. That night that lives on in my memories and has changed me in the most irrevocable of ways.

Me:Truth or Dare?

R:Truth.

Me:If I kissed you right now, what would you do?

R:(long pause) I don't know...

I closed my eyes and leaned in to kiss her for the last time. When I pulled back and opened my eyes she was gone and I was awake in my bed, alone. While I tried to process what just happened, I heard the end of "Chasing Cars" playing faintly on my laptop.

"If I lay here, if I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"